Will The Real Kitty Pryde Please Shut Up?
by Red Witch
Summary: Kitty is furious about a certain online celebrity while Xavier wonders why everyone has to put everything on the Internet these days. Including his own team.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Characters or anything else is making a music video. There is a real person on You Tube who calls herself Kitty Pryde after the X-Men character. Forgive me but I just had to write this. **

**Will The Real Kitty Pryde Please Shut Up?**

"All right, X-Men," Charles Xavier spoke to his main team in the war room. "Let's go over our weekly strategy sessions."

"Hold on Charles," Logan spoke up. "Half Pint ain't here."

"Be glad of that and move on," Rogue spoke up.

Hank was also in the room. "Rogue. How can you speak about your team mate like that?"

"It's not that hard," Rogue said. "Since I learned how to talk at an early age…"

"Rogue…" Xavier sighed.

"Trust us Professor, Rogue kind of has a point," Kurt spoke up.

"Yeah it might not be a bad idea to have the meeting without her," Scott agreed.

"What did she do now…?" Logan moaned.

"You don't want to know," Jean sighed.

"Just tell us what Kitty Pryde has done," Xavier sighed. "And if we need to get our lawyers involved."

"Interesting choice of words," Rogue smirked. "Depends on **which** Kitty Pryde you're talking about."

"Come again?" Logan raised an eyebrow.

"Uh…I'll explain later," Scott said. "Why don't we just go ahead with our meeting?"

"I AM GOING TO SUE!" Kitty was heard screaming. "MY LIFE IS RUINED!" She stormed into the room. "Professor! I need the Blackbird! I need to go visit a certain Kitty Pryde and straighten a few things out!"

"Come again?" Xavier blinked.

"Or we could just skip the meeting and get involved in this…" Scott sighed.

"Kitty what's going on?" Hank asked. "What's the problem?"

"Kitty Pryde is the problem! I can't believe what this Kitty Pryde has done!" Kitty fumed.

"O-kay…" Hank blinked. "Kitty when did you start talking like Bob Dole?"

"Who?" Bobby asked.

"Old dude on the early Viagra commercials," Kurt told him. He turned to Hank. "And Beast she's talking about the other Kitty Pryde."

"There's more than **one **Kitty Pryde?" Logan blinked.

"You would think that one would be more than enough, but yes," Rogue remarked.

"There's this female teenage rapper online that calls herself Kitty Pryde," Jean said.

"Is she a mutant?" Hank asked.

"No, she's human. But apparently she's a fan," Jean explained.

"Yeah a fan of ripping us off!" Kitty snapped.

"Wait, there's a musician named Kitty Pryde…?" Xavier began.

"Not her real name," Bobby said as he punched in some commands on a nearby computer. "This is some of her stuff."

"Just when I didn't think I needed **another** reason to hate popular music," Logan grumbled as the video played online.

"It's not that bad," Bobby said as the music video played. "I mean it's not Friday bad so that's gotta mean something."

"The quality of her singing doesn't matter!" Kitty interrupted.

"A sentiment shared by the majority of the music industry these days," Logan quipped.

"What matters is that she is making music with my name," Kitty said. "That should be **me! **I should be the one making videos and profiting off my name!"

"Oh dear…" Hank sighed.

"Let's teach young mutants about their powers, you said," Logan gave Xavier a look. "Bring them all under one roof and teach them about responsibility, you said. What could go **wrong?"**

"Logan technically this isn't mutant power related, per say," Xavier sighed. "Kitty…Although I can understand your frustration. You should be flattered someone idolizes you enough to…"

"Rip off my name and make a quick buck off of me?" Kitty glared at him.

"I don't think she's making that much money off of you," Bobby said.

"Not yet!" Kitty snapped. "You know what I should do? I should make my own music video! Better yet, release an album! I'll make millions of dollars, go on tour, get super rich and famous and get my own reality show! That'll show her!"

"Again Logan, technically she's not thinking about abusing her mutant **powers**…" Xavier sighed as Logan glared at him.

"Who wants to be the next Kardashians? Who's with me?" Kitty called out.

"Kurt! Bobby! Put your hands down!" Jean snapped.

"Why can't we be rich, famous and get our own reality show?" Bobby asked.

"Everybody else is doing it," Kurt said. "I'm with Kitty."

"Yeah! Let's do this!" Kitty nodded.

"Actually Kitty I fear you are a bit late to the musical party," Hank sighed. "There are at least a half dozen other mutants ahead of you."

"We're not talking about Quicksilver's stupid weekly posts on his blog are we?" Kitty asked. "You know the ones where he lip sincs in these crazy costumes and tries to pretend he's the mutant version of Lady Gaga?"

"No, I was referring to some of the posts already on Me Tube by some of the **inhabitants** of this **mansion**," Hank gave her a look and went to the computer. "Observe the latest one. Our resident Iceman singing his theme song." He cued up the computer.

_"Ice, Ice Baby_…" Bobby was shown on screen in full ice form, dancing around and creating ice sculptures to a certain rap song.

Everyone looked at Bobby. "What? That song was **made **for me!" Bobby protested.

"He does have a point," Kurt shrugged.

"Of course you would agree with him, Elf," Logan typed in the next video on screen. "Considering this little music video you made with Toad a while back."

Sure enough the next video popped up. There were Todd and Kurt singing wearing blue and white Galaxy Ranger costumes singing: _"No guts, no glory! No pain, no gain! One for all, and all for one! Riders on the range! No guts, no glory!" _

"That reminds me," Xavier sighed. "I did want to talk to some of you about what you've been putting online. Ironically that was one of the topics of the meeting we are supposed to be having today."

"What do you mean? This is harmless!" Kurt protested.

"It makes you look like a moron," Rogue said. "And people know you live here, ergo it makes us look like morons!"

"We're just doing the public a service by promoting one of the most awesome cartoons ever!" Kurt protested.

"Well you weren't doing us any services by making us look like cartoon crazed idiots!" Bobby snapped.

"Big talk from Vanilla Ice," Kurt gave him a look.

"It's not like I'm putting on musical productions of Broadway songs like Multiple," Bobby remarked.

"I dunno, I thought his Jersey Boys medley was pretty good," Kitty said.

"I could have done without the musical mash up from Phantom and Sweeny Todd," Scott sighed. "That was just disturbing."

"Not half as disturbing as **this,**" Xavier brought up another clip.

The next video was one of Scott and his brother Alex lip synching to 'I Want It That Way' in a backyard somewhere. "Now we've reached a new level of disturbing," Rogue snorted.

"I had no idea the camera was rolling!" Scott protested. "Alex totally set me up!"

Jean started to snicker. "Jean!" Scott snapped.

"Well it is kind of funny," Jean pointed. "But it's totally harmless."

"Uh…Not exactly…" Scott winced.

"What do you mean?" Jean asked.

"Wait for it," Logan smirked.

Then as the two mutant teens danced around they started using their powers to blow up several cans of something. This created some small explosions and smoke effects. "He said the number needed some explosions!" Scott protested. "Who was I to argue? He had a point!"

"And you **still** didn't figure out he was taping this?" Rogue asked in disbelief.

"Okay I knew he was taping it but I didn't know he was gonna put it on the Internet!" Scott protested. "He said he was just making it for himself! He told me he wasn't going to put it online! He lied!"

"Duh," Rogue folded her arms.

"As you can all guess, these sorts of videos should have been run by us teachers before posted online," Xavier said.

"They should have been run over us teachers using a **steamroller**," Logan remarked.

"Funny you should mention teachers," Rogue smirked. "Type up How to Make A Stink Bomb and see what you get on that search."

"What?" Logan asked.

"Uh oh…" Hank coughed. "I can explain…"

"Beast!" Logan glared.

"It was before my mutation fully manifested itself," Hank protested. "You know? A time when I **didn't** look like Chewbacca's cousin? I was just trying to make science fun."

"Yeah blowing up that classroom does look like fun," Bobby pointed to the screen.

"Oh, that's another one of my videos I did," Hank coughed nervously. "How to fill a room with foam using chemicals."

"That explains all those stains on the ceiling in Bayville High's science lab," Scott blinked.

"How many of these stupid little videos of class destruction did you make?" Logan asked.

"Only six or seven," Hank waved. "Maybe eight. But as I said these were made a long time ago and I gave them to a lot of my other students back then. They probably put them on their accounts. I had nothing to do with that."

"Really?" Rogue folded her arms. "Did you know Me Tube has a dating profile section?"

"Oh crap," Hank winced.

"Hello, I'm Hank McCoy," A shot of Hank in a grey suit and red tie was shown. "I'm a science teacher at the Xavier School for Gifted Students looking for the perfect chemistry with a lovely woman who likes classical music, long walks on the beach, and has no problem with fur. And is really into the color blue."

"Beast!" Rogue snapped as Hank shut off the video.

"I have needs okay?" Hank snapped. He looked at the website. "Hey I got over two hundred and fifty views and thirty nine responses. I wonder…"

"NO!" Everyone shouted at the same time.

"What? I can't have a social life?" Hank asked.

"Beast you need to get a life period," Logan groaned.

"Excuse me! But what about my problem?" Kitty asked. "I mean this all fun and all but still…"

"Kitty for once you are the least of our problems," Logan groaned. "All right. All of you take down these stupid videos right now!"

"That might not be a bad idea," Xavier sighed. "And Hank you might want to stay away from the computer for a few weeks."

"I guess this is a bad time to mention that I've started an online blog, Big Blue and Beautiful?" Hank asked.

"Geeze Beast you're worse than the kids!" Logan moaned.

"Hey look at this one that was just sent to Beast's account," Bobby pointed. "Something called Professor Charlie Goodtime Chugging Contest Winner 1964…"

"Uh oh…" Xavier blinked. "Uh that's obviously some spam mail. Just delete that."

"It's from some guy called Metal Master. I wonder who that is?" Bobby blinked.

"The Tooth Fairy Bobby," Rogue glared. "Click on it."

"No, no…Bobby I…" Xavier protested.

Too late Bobby clicked on it. "Hey this film is in black and white. Looks kind of old," Kitty remarked.

"Must be one of those old home movie cameras they had in…" Jean blinked. "Wait is that man drinking from two beer kegs at the same time?"

"And isn't that…." Bobby's jaw dropped.

Everyone looked at Xavier. "Uh it does sort of resemble me in my younger days…" Xavier coughed. "But obviously that is not…"

"CHARLIE! CHARLIE! CHARLIE!" The sound was grainy but could be clearly heard.

"Wow they really do a good job restoring old video footage these days don't they?" Bobby blinked.

"I'm Charles Xavier the Greatest Drunk in the World!" A young balding Xavier was crowing, standing on a bar. "Now bring me some women!"

Xavier stopped the recording but he couldn't stop the looks his students and faculty were giving him. "So **that's** what you meant by studying hard in college?" Logan smirked.

"Does **everyone** have to put everything **online **these days?" Xavier winced.

"Professor!" Jean was stunned.

"All right! I was a stupid young man who obviously did a stupid thing that I should be ashamed of!" Xavier admitted.

"Are you kidding?" Logan snickered. "Charles I think my admiration of you just jumped up a couple of notches!"

"At least I'm not the one who's worse than the kids anymore," Hank remarked.

"Professor we need to have a talk about your obvious drinking habit and the effects it has on this household," Rogue said with a straight face.

"Rogue's right," Jean said. "Maybe we should stage an intervention?"

"Uh perhaps we should go focus on this other Kitty Pryde thing…?" Xavier made an attempt to change the subject.

"Oh no. We're off me now," Kitty folded her arms. "I think we should talk about **this **some more."

"Hold on, let me get my camera phone," Kurt took his out. "I gotta tape this!"

"Don't forget to make me a copy," Logan said.

"And this is why we only hold these meetings once a week…" Xavier sighed.


End file.
